"You don't understand my situation." "It's more complicated than that." "There are factors you're not seeing." "It's not that simple."

This is the complexity lie. And I used it constantly.

Whenever someone gave me advice about going all in—burning the backup plan, committing fully—I had a reason why it wouldn't work for me.

My situation was different. More complicated. They didn't understand.

But here's what I finally learned: Complexity is often just an excuse factory.

Yes, your situation has nuances. Everyone's does. But the core principles of commitment? They apply to everyone. The basic truth that half-in doesn't work? That's universal.

When you say "it's not that simple," you're really saying "I don't want to commit and I'm looking for a reason not to."

Add enough complexity—enough factors, enough considerations, enough special circumstances—and suddenly no one can expect you to solve it. You're justified in staying stuck.

That's the trap.

The successful people I know? They simplify. They cut through the complexity and find the core choice. Then they make it.

The stuck people? They add complexity. More factors. More considerations. More reasons why it's not that simple.

Which one are you doing?

Strip away all the complications. What's the actual decision? In or out? Committed or not?

Make that decision first. The complexity is often just decoration around avoiding it.

Done negotiating.

-Joel