"I have to be realistic."

The dream killer disguised as maturity.

Said by everyone who gave up on what they actually wanted and needed a story to feel okay about it.

Here's how "being realistic" works:

You have a vision. A goal. Something you actually want.

Then you look around. You see people who failed. You calculate the odds. You think about what could go wrong.

And you scale down.

You take the thing you actually wanted and you shrink it. You make it "realistic." You trade the vision for something safer, smaller, more "reasonable."

And you call that wisdom.

But here's what you're really doing:

You're pre-negotiating your surrender.

You're deciding you'll fail before you start, so you might as well not try for the real thing.

You're letting fear set your ceiling.

And you're dressing it up as maturity so you don't have to feel bad about it.

"Realistic" is not a fixed thing.

What's realistic depends entirely on what you're willing to do.

Building a business is "unrealistic" if you're half-in, easily discouraged, and quick to quit.

Building a business is completely realistic if you're committed, persistent, and willing to fail forward.

The goal didn't change. Your commitment level did.

"Realistic" is a reflection of your resolve, not the actual odds.

Think about everyone who's built something that matters.

At some point, someone told them to be realistic.

At some point, the odds were against them.

At some point, the "smart" move was to scale back, play it safe, be reasonable.

They ignored it.

Not because they were delusional. Because they understood something most people don't:

"Realistic" is what average people use to stay average.

I was told to be realistic plenty of times.

Realistic about my career. Realistic about my ambitions. Realistic about what someone like me could achieve.

And for a while, I listened. I scaled down. I played it safe.

I was miserable.

Because "realistic" wasn't wisdom. It was a cage.

A cage built by people who had given up and wanted company.

Here's my challenge:

What have you scaled down in the name of being realistic?

What vision did you shrink?

What goal did you abandon because it seemed too ambitious?

Go back to it.

Not the "realistic" version. The real version. The one you actually wanted before fear edited it.

That's the one worth fighting for.

Done negotiating.

-Joel